You may love your job, but still experience a certain amount of stress and irritation at some point in your work week. Whether your manager riles you up or your peers cause you frustration, there are quick and easy steps you can take to handle irritation, impatience and that "edgy" feeling that anxiety and fear sometimes create.
WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK?
Ask yourself these questions:
Focus on the issue that seems to be the cause of your irritation or impatience. Ask yourself, Is this within my power to change? Now ask yourself, Do I want to put energy into changing it? If you answer Yes to both questions, then commit right now to changing it and make a plan for it to happen.
If you answer No to either question, you have no other healthy choice but to let it go. If you can't control something or you don't have a commitment or a plan to change something you can control, the only healthy alternative is complete, total, unconditional acceptance of the issue as it currently exists. The moment of acceptance puts you in harmony with yourself. Acceptance acts as the springboard to help you see other actions you can take to address issues within your control.
ACTIONS THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Separate things you can control from things you can't. Stress comes from confusing one for the other. Consciously and consistently making the distinction between the two frees up your valuable energy to focus on issues you can control.
Deliver feedback calmly and clearly. If someone responds defensively to your feedback, you can't control that. You can control your response and the way in which you deliver it.
Act and communicate in ways consistent with positive outcomes. You can't control how someone feels about you, but you can control how you behave and communicate with people.
Deliver on your agreements – no exceptions. You can't control whether someone respects you, but you can keep your word and demonstrate integrity.
Be generous with encouragement and coaching. You can't control how well an employee performs, but you can control the amount and kind of performance feedback you provide.
Keep your emotions in check. You can't control the emotions you feel in the moment, nor can you control other people's emotions, but you can control how you act on your emotions or react to others' emotions.
Commit to do the best job you can – always You can't control whether you are promoted, but you can work to get needed information and build relationships that you need to succeed.
Please feel free to reproduce and circulate the Monthly Tips. We request that you credit our organization: Kate Ludeman, PhD, & Eddie Erlandson, MD, Worth Ethic Corporation.
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